5 Questions to Ask Before Your Parents Move In
You undoubtedly cherish quality time with your parents, and you look forward to holidays, Sunday dinners, and vacations together. But spending these moments with your folks is completely different than living with them.
A parent moving in causes a major shift in routine and family dynamics, so it’s a decision that calls for careful consideration and many discussions to ensure everyone’s happiness.
Here are five questions to ask before a parent moves into your house.
1. How does “your” family feel about the new living arrangement?
You may love the idea of one or more parents moving in with your family. You might already envision the whole family sitting on the deck and enjoying a cup of coffee on Sunday mornings. Or you might get hit with a wave of nostalgia as you think back to happy memories of living under the same roof with them.
But while you may be excited about this new arrangement, don’t forget to take your spouse and children’s feelings into consideration.
Granted, your parents may have to move in for health or financial reasons, in which case their needs have to come ahead of everyone’s personal preference. But if your parents have the means to live on their own and they’re not dependent on you for care, make sure your spouse and children are okay with the change before making any promises.
2. What expectations are held by everyone involved?
Being open about expectations can eliminate confusion and misunderstandings down the road. For example, you may see your parents move as a temporary living arrangement, yet they view the move as permanent.
Perhaps you think your parents’ presence will mean free babysitting or daycare, yet they’re not interested in being the live-in help.
Have a meeting to hash out the details. In other words, what does everyone want - and not want - from this arrangement.
3. Are you strong enough to speak up and set boundaries?
This is your house, so you have the right to establish rules and boundaries. Even so, speaking up and laying down the law can be difficult when dealing with your parents. But it’s important to be clear about boundaries to maintain peace in the household.
If your parents are overbearing and opinionated, they might feel the need to “parent” you from time-to-time or even question how you discipline your children. They might even jump in and take sides when you have disagreements with your spouse. This creates tension and can cause rifts between in-laws, so don’t be afraid to respectfully speak up if someone crosses a line.
4. Are you comfortable talking about money?
Talking about money can be awkward, but it’s a fear you must overcome. Before moving day, make sure you know exactly what your parents will contribute to the household, if anything. Also, don’t be afraid to put financial agreements in writing so there’s no confusion. Maybe your parents will be responsible for specific household expenses, or perhaps they’ll pay a flat rent, which you’ll allocate toward different expenses
5. Do you need a bigger space?
Everyone needs their own personal space. And fortunately, if your house is too small and can’t accommodate one or two extra bodies, it’ll feel as if you’re living on top of each other.
A cramped space can breed irritation, so it might be time to look into getting a bigger home if your parents are moving in permanently. With your parents chipping in, you can pool your resources and possibly qualify for a home with more rooms or square footage.
Our experienced loan experts at Cherry Creek Mortgage can help you find the right mortgage so that you can buy a property that’s more suitable for your family's current needs. We offer a wide selection of loans —conventional, FHA, VA, USDA, and many more.
Give us a call today to explore your options.